Finding my Place (or Gods place for me)

I have wanted to write for at least a week now! It’s crazy that it has taken me this long to get to a computer to do it. I guess I have finally started to get busy with school. I mean I guess I have also just been busy with everything.  So the reason I wanted to write! As stated in previous posts I have been struggling with what my place on Trinity’s campus is. I sometimes feel like I don’t know what I am supposed to be doing for the Kingdom. Coming off of camp, this feeling has been hard for me.

But the reason I wanted to write, is that I feel now that I can work here on campus. That even though I am not working at camp, I can work here. I had some really awesome talks with some people that are true leaders and walkers of the faith and they helped me to see that at school, while being busy with homework, I can still work for the kingdom. These friends have also helped me to realize the different ways that I can be helpful and working.

The first way, is to just be encouraging and doing my best at school. It is kind of weird to think about schoolwork as Gods work, but I think it is! We are called to do our best, and if I am doing that, then I am doing God’s work. God has me here at this school for a reason and He is preparing me to become something that He will use and work with throughout my life. So doing my best work at school, is working for the kingdom.

I also can be working for the kingdom by talking to people about God and by continuing to pray for people. Pray is so crazy! God is listening to what we are saying and answering us! Think about that for a minute. The God of the universe hears my prayers. Crazy. So by staying in prayer and asking what others need prayer with and help with is a way that I can be working. Just by asking my roommates and friends what they need prayer in, I am working for the kingdom.

The way that I am most excited about starting to do some real work here is in a prayer/confession group that me and a couple of other guys have started. Every Sunday at Trinity there is “Sunday Night Worship” where students gather and sing praises to out God and King as fellow believers in Christ. This is something that I truly enjoy. Afterwards, me and a couple other guys meet up and talk about what we struggled with during the week, and what we could use prayer for in the upcoming week. We also text each other daily with encouraging words and reminders to flee from our sins and temptations. During the summer, when I thought about how I wanted to be at work at this school, this was one of the biggest things that I thought of. Meeting up with some guys, to talk about real stuff, and then pray over and for each other. I truly think that this is going to be a huge blessing to the people involved, and also to the entire campus. The more people that you have praying in one place, the more that is going to be happening. God answers prayers, and He rewards people when they do what He asks them to do.

I am super excited about continuing to work and find my place here; I am super excited about being rooted in this place. To God be the Glory. 

Late Nights and Deep Thinking

So I am awake now and all of my roommates have been asleep for who knows how long. It isn't that I'm not tired; I just don't really want to sleep.  I just want to stay up and think about things on my own, think about life and the choices that I make, or don’t make. Sleep seems like something for a later time. Too many things on my mind for sleep. Gun control, my (non-existent) love life, how hard it is too trust God and feel like I am doing God’s work, my relationships with my friends, and at last, school. This list may seem random and unconnected, but in my head it all makes sense.

First gun control. I had a very long and very draining conversation/argument about guns today. It was one sided with everyone siding on one side against a lone person on the other side. Some people were disrespectful and when you are the only one taking a stand on your side of an argument it can be hard to ever be heard. (I wasn’t the one alone; I just recognized the difficulties of his position.) So Gun Control? I don’t think it will work, but maybe I am slightly pessimistic. But there are 300,000,000 million guns in the United States. I don’t think it is possible to get all out of the people hands. People just are not going to give them up. But I do recognize that there are some issues here! There are roughly 11,000 homicides that are related to guns each year in America. That number is so freaking crazy high it’s ridiculous. I really do think that somehow we need to change the people minds about using guns rather than banning guns, because I don’t see a ban being effective.

My (non-existent) love life. So there is this girl, and like all girls she is complicated. I kinda have a thing for her but can’t tell about her feeling back towards me. Whatever that isn't really important in the grand scheme of things. And it really relates to my next point.

How hard it is to trust God with your life and feel like you are doing His work. These two things are so related. The less I trust God the less I do His work and so the less I trust Him. It’s like a negative cycle of death that I have gotten myself into. I find myself not trusting in His presence and power so I don’t go out on a limb, or do what I probably should in random situation. The hopeful part of this is that I recognize my lack of trust and want so desperately for that to change. I want to trust in God in very single part of my life. Whether it is the girl, or my classes, or in helping me not to fall back into old habits and sins. I have to trust in God’s plan. When I stop doing that, I find myself worrying about everything. So what I really need to do is to start doing! I have to make a more conscious effort to do God’s work every day. Camp was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I refound my first love that is Jesus Christ. I know that He has a plan and purpose for my life. I just have to go on not knowing. With camp over and me back at school I find it really hard to live for God. At camp, everything I did revolved around Christ; and at school, it seems like nothing is. It is hard. I am trying to find a way to show people Jesus’s love and continue to live for Him but in the business of it all I forget sometimes. I need to remember. If you are reading this, can you say a quick prayer for me? That I remember in everything what I am called to do.

My relationships with my friends and school both just stem from me not trusting in God, so I am not going to go into any of that.

This week, I am going to be more conscious of trusting God, and getting out of my comfort zone while doing it.